Marriage?
Well, I'm kinda looking forward to that. At the same time, that makes me nervous and scared to go with the flow - building a new family. Different people may have different reasons to get married. But normally, they need love, care, support and last but not least, pleasure. I need all of 'em. I think getting married will let me be free from my current problems, maybe. I want a husband who will always love me with my imperfections - physically, mentally and emotionally.
Dear my future husband, I want you to make me feel I'm the one. I want you to put your arms around me and kiss me telling "Sayang please don't leave me. I promise to make you happy forever." Let's build a home with me for the best. Hope you can be a father of my naughty but beautiful children. I want you to be by my side always whenever I'm lost in my problems - job, people, surrounding. I hope you'll always come to the kitchen where there's me, not really to help me out but you'll take a smell from my hot cooking and say "Thank you, sayang. I'm lucky to have you. Let's eat together, I don't wanna eat alone." Not forgetting to leave a kiss on my cheek after that.
I hope you'll always be patient with my attitude - spoilt, sensitive. You'll wipe my tears saying "Don't worry, I'm always here for you. Stop crying." You know that a girl can be shut up by a kiss, I hope you're the one, husband. When I'm pregnant of your child, hope you'll always be there for me to give me support. It's not really for me, but it's for our baby's good. We surely want our baby to be a healthy one. When I'm about to give birth to our baby, I hope you'll be my side and hold my hand telling "Everything's gonna be alright, insyaAllah. Remember Allah." then I hope we can always play together with our baby so that we'll be more happy and more in love with each other because the baby is just the mini version of us. When he grows up to be a toddler, we'll teach him to talk - call me mama and call you abah/papa. I just prefer our kids to call me mama. I hope we can bear with our lil kids, like when there's only you and me on a comfortable queen bed hugging each other in sleep, our baby who is in his cot will cry calling us, then one of us will take him to our bed.
Not to forget, I hope none of us will talk about our 'old stories' - ex-partner which can make us upset. I'm really glad if you can be my imam, lead me to pray to Allah together, not forgetting our children. Wake me up for Subuh prayer and I'll do the same to you, insyaAllah. Let's always recite al-Quran because that's what I've been doing for a better life. If you find any of our mistakes when reciting it, please correct me for a blessing from Allah. Don't worry dear, when there's a public Islamic class held nearby our house at night and you're at home feeling tired because of work at that time, I'd choose to be with you. I'll accompany you, massage your body to make you feel loved. We really can go learn and improve our Islamic education together some other times.
Last but not least, I may not be perfect. But insyaAllah, I'll try to be the best one for you, my lovely husband. However, insyaAllah what I want above will come true if I'm married to a man who truly loves me.
